Remember me
by Tinie nyny
Summary: Matt Donovan was the neighbour of Bonnie Bennett and he was in love with her but he left the town. After 6 years and a bad event, he came back in Mystic Falls as a teacher and he saw her again but she was his student and she didn't remember him. Rated M : forbidden relationship
1. Goodbye

**I don't own Vampire Diaries or the characters**

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"These stars are as beautiful as your eyes."

"NOO like yours!"

"Noo, well, like yours," Matt said, and they both laugh.

"Matty, don't leave me alone like daddy."

"Never."

Bonnie and Matt were children and they were lying on the roof of the Matt's house, as they do every night. Matt was older than Bonnie; he was 13 years old and Bonnie was 6 years old, but they were inseparable, always together wherever they went. She saw him only as a big brother but Matt saw her as his future wife. Matt Donovan wanted to marry her one day and have children. He wanted to protect her, to make her happy, to see her shining smile every day. He wanted her to be his wife, and only her. He grew up in an almost chaotic family, his mother was a waitress and she brought home different men every night and his 16 year-old sister took drugs. He had never really been loved by his parents and Bonnie was his source of joy. Bonnie represented his family, the family he never had.

Bonnie had a cohesive family despite the absence of her father. Her mother, grandmother and cousin was always there for her, they accepted Matty in the family, he was welcome in her house whenever he wanted and often slept in Bonnie's room; when she had nightmares, it was him that calmed her down. He was always there for her.

Every Sunday, he would eat with the Bennett family and they laughed about everything and nothing, Matt had found his family in Bonnie Bennett and Bonnie had found his father figure in Matt. Bonnie's mother, Leah, was not worried about Matt, despite the gossip about his family, she thought he was cute with her daughter and unwittingly say she enjoyed the presence of a man in the house.

Leah felt alone, her husband was a soldier and he was gone to war for years, returning only at the rare times when he had leave, but he was not really present for his daughter or for her, as if his true life was on the battlefield. Often she felt like he loved his work more than his family. She had to beg him to call Bonnie, his indifference caused her so much pain.

Then one day, Matt left Mystic Falls. He got his high school diploma and he went to Dallas for his studies. Bonnie had cried for days, she lost her big brother, the only reference she ever had, she felt like she had lost her father a second time. She thought him handsome but it was too early to be aware of her feelings, she was too young to dissect the love of worship, too young to see that Matt was not looking her with a big brother's eyes. With the hormones of adolescence, Matt had trouble controlling himself. He could no longer touch Bonnie in the same way, he saw her breasts and hips begin to grow, she was precocious and becoming a woman. They continued their evening ritual, to go on the roof to watch the stars and dream of their future life, he knew he had to change his mind but when he held her hand, he felt like his full purpose in life was to be with her.

But he was a teenager and she was still a child, he could not continue to watch her like that, with so much lust and desire. Her mother had noticed the gazes of Matt and she didn't allow him to sleep in the same room as Bonnie any more, their sleepovers were now forbidden and Bonnie didn't understand why her mother acted like that. Matt could still assist to their Sunday dinner like usual, at least Leah did not deny Matt's involvement in this tradition. Leah liked Matt and she regarded him as her son before he became a beautiful man. Initially, she always wanted a son but the few times that Rudy came home from the war, they were unable to conceive an another child. She gave up quickly, she saw how Matt took care of Bonnie, he was so attentive to Bonnie that Leah became jealous; the more he grew up, the more she looked at him with envy.

Matt was older than Bonnie, he became a tall and muscular teenager, his blue eyes shining and his blond hair was cut in a shape trend of young. Leah thought that he was beautiful and sexy, and he actually was the most beautiful youth in neighbourhood. He has even been crowned King of Mystic Falls, he was a quarterback in the city football team and practically famous. Leah didn't understand why he took such care of Bonnie and why he continued to go on the roof with her every night when other young people get drunk or partying. She didn't understand why he had always protected her, why he came every morning to take her to school. She was so used to being abandoned by Rudy that she did not understand the craze of Matt Donovan to her daughter when he could have any girl he wanted... maybe a housewife... maybe her.

She began to dress more sexy when he was there, put on more make-up than usual on Sunday dinners, and she wore short dresses in the morning when he came for Bonnie. She wanted some of the attention, her jealousy beginning to be felt. Sheila and Lucy Bennett had cautioned her against what she tried to do but she did not listen. She was always trying to catch Matt's eye but he didn't look at her like he looked at Bonnie. He only saw Bonnie, his precious girl, she was his one and only. Despite her young age, he loved her. He still hoped that one day she would be his wife, still wanted to have children with her. He wanted to protect her from the other boys of her age but he quickly realized that he also had to protect her from himself so he decided to leave Mystic Falls with the savings that he had made with his job at the Grill.

This afternoon, he was loading his stuff into his truck. He hadn't had the courage to tell her that he was leaving the day before, he wrote her a letter and gave it to Leah hoping she gives it to Bonnie. He saw Leah's efforts to seduce him but did not care, comforting himself by thinking that at least his absence would resolve the growing problem with Leah.

"Matty?" Bonnie asked, walking towards him. She wore a little flying green dress and he found her adorable, she was 11 years old but she looked 13, her form already visible, he knew she would become a beautiful young woman and that was why he had to leave, before he tried to touch her or worse. He didn't want to leave but he had to, Bonnie was too young. He was not a pervert, he loved her in a way a man loves a woman, but he did not desire her completely, but he knew that it was only a matter of time before something happened and he did not want that for Bonnie. He thought he was doing the right thing so he turned to look at her, determined.

"Cassiopeia ... I wrote you a letter," he said, looking at her, using the nickname he had given her the first time they had been star-gazing together on the roof, with the constellation bright in the sky above them. Even with her stood right in front of him, in all her beauty and innocence, all he could think of was how she looked, asleep in his arms with her head in his neck, her small breasts pressed against him through her dress. Just the memory was enough to make his thoughts tangled, and he knew he had to leave. He could no longer be around her without fearing himself, what he would do.

"A letter? A letter for what?" she said in a small voice, she walked towards him, she stopped in front of him and lifted her head to look at him smiling, she was tiny in front of him. Her little green eyes sparkled with sunlight.

"I must go... I've got my diploma, now I'm going to university."

"But there's a university in Mystic Falls, why is all your stuff in your truck?" she said, still smiling. He took Bonnie's hands in his.

"I must go out of this town, I am sorry."

"You're leaving me... but... you promised that you would never leave me."

"I don't have a choice, Cass."

"But... but... Matty ... I will be alone... without you," she said and her eyes became wet.

"Bonnie ..."

"NO! YOU SAID THAT YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME!" she screamed, crying with rage. She shouted so loudly that Leah came out of the garden to see what was happening. She stopped when she saw Matt next to his truck with Bonnie and understood that he was saying his goodbye. When Matt told her that he was leaving town, Leah was sad but also glad that she would no longer be alone in suffering from loneliness. She was relieved to no longer have to be jealous of her daughter and she didn't want to give her Matt's letter, ever.

"Bonnie ..." he said, sorry to see her in this state.

"Matty, don't leave me, I will be a good girl, I'll do my homework every day, please don't go, I'll be alone. Please, I love you so much, please. Please," she begged, she put her arms around Matt and squeezed as hard as she could. Matt had tears in his eyes, he lifted his head because he could not stand to see her like that. He would have killed any guy who would make her cry like this, but the guy was him and he hated himself for it. He tried to remove her arms but she held him fast.

"Cassiopeia... I must go now," he said. He had to leave now, even if he had not finished loading his things. Stefan would send him his stuff later anyway. He tried to unhook Bonnie's arms but she continued to beg, crying as she clung to him. Leah saw the scene and ran toward them.

"Bonnie, honey? Matt wants to go, let him go, sweetie," Leah said trying to remove her from Matt but she held him as if he was her life.

"NOOO! NO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO!" she screamed.

"Bonnie Bennett! That is enough. Let go of him, NOW!" she said, pulling Bonnie with more force.

"NO, HE PROMISED ME! HE PROMISED ME, MOM!" Bonnie cried, struggling.

"Bonnie ..." Matt was now in tears.

"Noooo ... please ... I'm begging you, don't leave me alone ... Matty," she said softly crying, she continued to struggle but Leah was stronger, pulling her away, lifting her until her feet did not touch the ground. Matt took the opportunity to get into his truck without looking back, he turned the key and started, he looked through the rear view mirror and saw Bonnie still struggling with her mother, crying. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before putting the truck into drive and then he left. He rolled up at Stefan house and stayed with him overnight and when all the stuff was ready, they went to the airport and took off on a plane to Dallas.

* * *

 **Song: "Andrew Belle - Oldest Friend"**

* * *

Bonnie had been crying for hours, days, weeks, months... but the time had come for her to move on. She had wept for him, so much that she didn't want to love anymore, she never wanted to love again. She'd seen him as his older brother when she was a child, but then she grew up and began to feel butterflies in her stomach when she saw him. She had seen people kissing; her best friend Elena had a boyfriend and she often saw them sharing kisses. Bonnie wondered what would be like if Matt gave her one. Bonnie admired Matt, he was safe, friendly, attentive and incredibly beautiful. But Bonnie knew that she was too young for him, so she kept her secret, that she was in love with Matt Donovan, and every day she was glad to see him. When he left, he broke her heart and she swore that it would be the last time.

* * *

 **6 years later**

Matt Donovan and Stefan Salvatore had remained best friends for all these years. They spent their college years having fun and found another friend in Damon. The three were inseparable, and they considered themselves brothers. Matt had decided to become a French teacher, he even spend a year in France for his studies where he could finish his thesis on the history of the French language in France. Stefan and Damon took over the company from their father Giacomo, becoming joint-CEO's of the company and Stefan Salvatore married to Caroline Forbes, his girlfriend since high school. Matt had had several girlfriends but nothing serious, he always said that he had not found the right one and then once he got a job, he was dedicated to his work, teaching at a prestigious school in Dallas, and that was enough for him for now.

One evening, he received a call, telling him that his sister overdosed and he had to return to Mystic Falls. The next day he took a flight to Mystic Falls. He was afraid for his sister but he especially thought about the little girl that he had left behind, wondering if she had grown into a beautiful woman like he'd imagined. He often wanted to call her, or go see her but he always told himself that she hated him, so he lived his life without thinking about her, at least he tried to do so.

...He didn't know that Bonnie didn't remember him.

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	2. First meet

**Tell me what you think!**

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When he arrived at Mystic Falls, Matt rode up to the hospital to see Vicki. She was in a bad state; she seemed to have a tube protruding from every part of her body. He almost regretted having been gone. He knew that Vicki was going through difficult times, but he had never wanted to to move to Mystic Falls out of fear of seeing Bonnie. Matt felt selfish as he saw his sister in this state. His mother was sitting on the chair at the side of Vicki's bed.

"Hey, Mom," Matt said, walking to stand behind her. Kelly turned and glared at her son for a moment. Matt shamefully lowered his eyes; he knew he shouldn't have run off like his father did. "I know that I'm not welcome here, but I need to know how Vicki is," Matt said as he raised his hands as if he were in an argument.

"You're welcome here, my son," Kelly said, watching him. "She's doing a little better. The doctors just washed her stomach," she said as she squeezed her daughter's hand lovingly.

"But I thought that she had stopped. I thought that she was happy with her position at the Grill." Matt said.

"Apparently not. I heard that Shay had cheated on her with a younger girl. I think Vicki couldn't handle the shock and sadness," Kelly sighed sadly. "Matthew, I have tell you something. I know that you have a wonderful life in Dallas and you're happy, but I need you here."

"What do you mean, you need me here?" Matt asked suspiciously.

"I mean, I need you here. End of discussion," Kelly said.

"Mom, I'm not a teen anymore. You can't force me to move from another state, quite my job, and leave my life to come here without giving me a good reason!" Matt argued.

"I know, Matt, but it's … complicated," Kelly said, standing up and turning to Matt. "I will be in the hospital, so I need you to take care of your sister. She needs her brother, Matthew; she needs you. I need you to be there for her," Kelly said as she gently caressed Matt's cheek.

"What? A hospital? For what?" Matt asked; he was getting scared.

Kelly paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "I have cancer," she said finally. "I'll be going to the hospital to take my chemo," Kelly removed her hand from Matt's cheek and began to shake. Matt couldn't – no, wouldn't – believe what he heard.

"When did you learn of your situation?" Matt said after uttering a long sigh.

"I learned about a year ago," Kelly said, quickly continuing as she saw Matt's surprised look. "I didn't want to worry you, Matt. I didn't tell you, but with Vicki's situation, I have not choice. I need you here, Matt," Tears began to show in Kelly's eyes as she stifled a sob. "I know that you left because I wasn't a good mother."

Matt hugged his mother, a sad smile on his face. "You were a good mother in your own way," he said. "Besides, I didn't leave because of you or Vicki. I just had to leave. Do you know how long the chemo is going to take?"

"I don't know, Matty," Kelly said, her voice breaking slightly. "I – I – I don't know. I don't know if I'll have enough money for it. I don't know if the insurance will –"

"Mom, I'll take care of it," Matt promised. "Just tell me what you need and I'll give it to you," he stroked his mother's hair, blaming himself for not being there for his family.

"I need you to stay here with Vicki," Kelly said. "I'd feel better if she wasn't alone." Kelly looked at her daughter on the bed as she said this, the respirator, tubes, and beeping machines scaring her.

Matt thought about the many talks he and his mother had over the past years. She always told him that everything was fine and that there was nothing to worry about. Matt remembered all of the times he refused his mother's many invitations to Mystic Falls. He hadn't been there for her, but he was not going to make the same selfish mistake; he was going to be there for his mother and sister, no matter the price.

"Okay,," Matt said finally. "I'll stay."

Matt stayed the night at the hospital, keeping a close eye on his sister. The next day he flew to Dallas. Explaining the situation to his friends, he was able to look into a job at Mystic Falls High School. His recommendations were great, and the school director remembered Matt. Everyone in the city knew about Matt's family's situation, so Matt was able to work at the school and teach French. It took four days to get everything settled before he could even move to Mystic Falls, but it was finally decided that he and Vicki would live together in their childhood home.

Matt rented out his apartment and Stefan allowed Matt to store his extra belongings in the garage of Stefan's home. Matt didn't want to permanently settle in Mystic Falls, so he only took some clothes and books; the rest of his belongings stayed in Dallas.

Matt arrived in the evening, the rain pouring in torrents. Unfortunately for him, it was a Sunday, so there was no time to really rest before his week began. Vicki was still hospitalized, so Matt visited her before returning to the childhood home. As he pulled into the driveway, Matt couldn't believe his eyes; the house looked the exact same. The white color of the walls was slightly faded, but the garden, shutters, and even the little green enclosure overlooking the roof was still there; Matt made a mental note to get on the roof tomorrow night to remember the good memories he had with Bonnie.

Matt unloaded his car, taking each bag one by one into the house. He constantly glanced at Bonnie's house, which seemed empty. The lights were off, and Bonnie probably had friends she hung out with. Matt assumed that she was out with friends; with Bonnie being 17, it wasn't a wrong assumption at all. Matt began to think about whether or not Bonnie had a boyfriend, or if she was happy. He wondered how her grades were, or if she was still climbing on the roof. Matt didn't dwell on this too long, however; regret quickly surfaced as he thought about Bonnie. Regret for having left her after promising that he would never leave. It hurt more since her father had done the same thing.

His room was even the same; the Terminator figurines, the porn magazines hidden under the bed, even the cushion asteroid embroidered with the name, "Cassiopeia," was there. Matt remembered when Bonnie had given him that cushion; it was a gift that would help Matt think of her when he went to sleep and when he woke up. Bonnie was gentle and kind to him, and she wanted to share it with him.

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 **Song: Andrew Belle – Oh My Stars**

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Matt sat on the dusty bed, taking the pillow and hugging it to his chest. Tears wanted to fall, but he swallowed quickly. He quickly forced thoughts of Bonnie shouting at him away before they became to painful. He knew … he knew that he hurt her. He broke the heart of his Cassiopeia and he regretted it; however, he still felt that his choice was justified. Matt wanted to protect Bonnie, especially from himself. He didn't want to take advantage of her innocence or fragility. He would not be a sexual predator. Besides, no one else would understand him; no one would understand that he really loved her when he left. He did not want to hurt her, even if he had to break her little heart to do it.

He unpacked a few of his things, but he was so tired to store everything. He took a shower, dressed in pajamas, and went to bed without eating. He wasn't hungry and wanted to rest his head. Here he was, in the one place he was trying to forget for 6 years. While one can forget the past, it can always catch up; the past caught up with Matt in a brutal way.

His night was rough as he had several nightmares about Bonnie. He relived the ordeal again and again like a bad TV commercial. He saw Bonnie's tears and heard her cries. Matt saw her hands outstretched towards him as she called to him; it was almost as if she knew he was back, and now she was calling to him again. Matt woke up several times in sweat, but went back to sleep easily. The next day, the alarm went off, telling Matt that he was late.

"Shit!" he shouted, looking at the time on his clock. He got up with a start, rushing as he brushed his teeth, showered, and got dressed. This was not how to start his first day as the new French teacher. As Matt ran to his car, the thought of seeing Bonnie at the high school crossed his mind. He hesitated, the thought almost making him reluctant to start the car.

"Come on," he said, trying to motivate himself. "You can do it!" He was 24 years old, but his heart was beating fast like it did when he was 17 years old and when He saw Bonnie smile. Matt took a deep breath and started the car. The city had modernized in the past 6 years, so Matt barely recognized the streets. Lots of little stores had been added; it wasn't a big city like Dallas, but Mystic Falls was attractive. After 20 minutes of driving, Matt saw that the school, in contrast to the rest of the city, hadn't changed. He smiled, remembering the follies he and Bonnie had when they were young.

He remembered how the crowd cheered when he scored a touchdown. He remembered the pretty cheerleaders and all of his friends. He remembered the adrenaline after winning a game. Nobody would have thought that he would become a French teacher with a PhD and work in a large private school in Dallas. Compared to his family, it definitely was a surprise; his mother loved debauchery and his sister was a drug addict. Despite that, he loved his family, and he was proud of what he had accomplished.

Matt parked in the parking lot, noticing how many students were still outside. The bell sounded as he exited his car. With all of the students, Matt blended in; he wore a blue shirt, a black jacket, a pair of black pants, and a black satchel. He was jostled by students as he walked through the main hallway of the school.

There he saw Bonnie. His Cassiopeia. She was wearing a cheerleader's uniform, her curly hair pulled back in a long braid. Her caramel skin shone like a star; Bonnie shone like a star. Matt was petrified; he even stopped breathing. He world stopped turning, everything around him became meaningless. Bonnie was the only person he saw. Matt couldn't believe his eyes and wanted to rub them to remove the fog that seemed to encompass his vision, but he refrained.

Bonnie was beautiful. Her smiled hadn't changed and she hadn't grown very tall. Her shapely legs were works of art to Matt, however.

"Bonnie," he said without realizing he said it. Luckily, the sounds of laughter from the students camouflaged his voice. Bonnie began walking towards Matt with a bunch of other girls dressed like her. Bonnie held two notebooks in her arms as she talked with her friend; as she got closer, Matt could hear her wonderful voice, this voice he had tried to forget for 6 years. He didn't even know that he was next to his classroom door. Bonnie got closer … and closer … closer … Finally, Bonnie turned her head to Matt and smiled as their eyes – his blue and hers green – connected. Matt frowned; he was expecting everything else but not a smile from her.

"Hello, sir," she said; the other girls said the same thing as they all passed before him and entered the classroom. Matt didn't understand; didn't Bonnie recognize him? She had just told him "Hello" as if he was just another teacher, and not her Matty with whom she had grown up. Matt recovered his emotions and entered the classroom.

He addressed the class with a quick "Hello" as he placed his bag on the table and looked up. Bonnie was sitting in the third row. She was beautiful and radiant. Matt's heart began to beat faster; almost too fast. He did not know what to think or say. Bonnie looked at him without any pain or anger. It was as if she had forgiven him.

Or worse, she had forgotten him.


	3. Never say Never

**I dedicate this chap to** **Jujubee58 who give me envy to continue this fic. Now I'm writing more fast than a rabbit. Hope you will like it.**

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The bell rang and the students stood up to leave. He quickly tidied his stuff up. As if the world wanted to punish him, Bonnie waited outside his office with some books in her hands. He bit his cheek to ignore her but it was too hard. He tried hard but could not possibly do it. He looked up at her and she smiled.

"Uhm sir, I have some questions and I don't know whether I should've come or not to ask ... I hope I'm not bothering you, but do you you give private lessons?" She smiled shyly.

Matt didn't know what to say. Yesterday he dreamed of her and now she was there before him as real as the table that his hands touched. He didn't understand why she didn't remember him, how could anyone forget the person with whom she spent her childhood. Her words were too innocent for this to be a Machiavellian plan that she would have developed for revenge. The ideas turned into his head and he had not answered her question.

"Sir?" She repeated.

"Uhm ... yes yes I can give them but first I want to know why?"

 _Is it a game? A revenge game? Does she hate me to the point where she could forget me so much? Do I have to tell her ... but what I can say to her anyway?_

"Uhm my father is at the base of the Army in France and he invited me to spend a week with him in 2 months. I was hoping you could give me advanced classes to be ready and speak the language a little better ... I don't want to disappoint him. "

"Oh ... Uhm sure. I can do that," Matt forced a smile. Either she was a good actress or she had really forgotten him. But right there was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen appearing on her heart shaped face.

"Thank you sir. When are you free? We can work where you want, here, at my house or at yours. As you wish."

"Uhm ... uh"

"Can I propose to you at yours? Because my mother works at home and I don't want her to bother you. She asks too many questions and she tends to talk a lot without saying anything," she laughed and made Matt smile.

"If you want to, but at reasonable hours. I don't have my schedule yet but as soon as I have it, I'll give you the details."

"It seems perfect ... but you don't have my phone number. Is it weird if I give you my number?" She grimaced, Bonnie didn't want look too tacky. She was not the type to fall for her teacher even if this one was particularly attractive.

"It would be weird but yes it is for tutoring so... This is a good reason I think."

"Okay then," Bonnie put her books on the table, she took a piece of paper but she could not find a pen in the notebook where she had stowed it.

"Here," Matt handed her a pen and she smiled shyly by taking it.

"Thanks," Bonnie wrote her number on the piece of paper and put back her books to press them on her chest. "That's my number," she handed him the piece of paper. "Tell me when you're available, my trip is in two months and I'm really bad in French."

"I can arrange that," Matt smiled fully.

"Thank you sir, have a nice day," She said, walking toward the door.

"You too," he whispered.

Matt has looked away and frowned. He looked down at the piece of paper and looked at the door again. It was really weird. She seemed not to recognize him at all. It was perfect for him, he could claim that he had never known her and wait for Vicki to get better before leaving the town again. But it also hurt him knowing that all the nights he spent with her when she had nightmares, all the nights on the roof watching the stars, the games and antics they played, she had probably forgotten everything. Their indelible bond was deleted as if it were a simple thing. Hidden feelings was the same as if they had never existed. In fact it was as if he had never existed to her. It hurt him.

Matt swallowed hard against the lump in his throat and put the piece of paper in his pocket. He was not ready to record it in his phone, he could call her now just to hear her voice again. Then the reality of the situation hit him hard. He will be tutoring Bonnie, not in a classroom or at school but at home.

"I'm stupid!" He slapped his hand over his face, growling. He had just started digging his own grave. He ran a trembling hand through his hair and laid his stuff down. He left the empty classroom and closed the door behind him. Matt walked into the crowded hallway towards the secretary. He was still confused because of the discussion he had with Bonnie. He arrived in a corridor he knew well. He was the type to go every week to the principal for being reprimanded.

"Hello? Can I help you?" A blonde woman of forty years old asked.

"Yes, I'm the new French teacher. I come to get my schedule of the semester," He approached the counter.

"Matthew? Matthew Donovan?"

"Yes," he smiled. "Madam Daisy?"

"Oh My God! Look at you!" She almost cried. Rising, she took off her glasses to better admire him. "You've grown so much, you have become a man and in addition you are a teacher. Who would have thought? I still remember seeing your pretty blond head being scolded by the principal." She laughed.

"Yes, I was young."

"Oh, I heard about your sister, I'm sorry. Is she okay? She overdosed right?"

"Yes," he said sadly, looking down, then quickly looked up at Daisy. "She's better anyway."

"I hope she will recover."

"Thank you."

"Well, for your planning, you received it by mail, Matthew. Otherwise I can print it for you."

"Yes please, I have not yet had time to read my emails and when I go back, I have a ton of things to do."

"Of course, of course," the lady sat down and began to type on the keyboard.

It was as if Bonnie and he were attached by an invisible magnet. When he turned his head to the left, he sees her walk by. At that moment, their eyes met. She blinked rapidly and smiled before looking at her friends who spoke to her. Just a few seconds, it lasted only a few seconds but he felt like she recognized him. During a few seconds, her green eyes reflected the devotion and the admiration that his Cassiopeia deemed him.

"Matthew?"

"Uh Yes?" He quickly turned to Daisy who handed him a piece of paper. "Thank you! I wanted to know if it's possible to do tutoring, a student asked me and I wondered where it would be best to teach."

"Oh. Well if there is more than one student, then you can come to school on Saturday, there are free rooms that day. If it's only one student, you can arrange that as you want. It's not very serious."

"Alright ... Thanks again."

"You're welcome! Pass my greetings to Vicki and Kelly for me."

"I will not fail," he raised the paper and smiled before leaving the secretary's office. He read the piece of paper. Matt gave classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He thought he could teach Bonnie the intermediate days. His schedule was pretty free in comparison to that of Dallas where he gave lessons every day. It is also logical; in Mystic Falls High School, they allow just terminal to have French classes. The languages such as Spanish, German or Latin was taught to the lower classes. It was perfect, it gave him time to prepare his classes and take more attention to students with difficulties. Matt thought he was about to advertise tutoring.

Although Bonnie had asked him, he still felt discomfort in that she would be the only student he was tutoring. Maybe if they were more, there would be less risk that he jumps on her to kiss her. That, he was literally dying of envy to do. Even if she did not have the eleven years of his memories, she was still a minor. He could do nothing, barriers were erected between them anyway. Walking towards his car, he thought that maybe it was not so bad if she didn't remember him.

Maybe God was punishing him for coveting Bonnie when she was much younger than him, maybe this was his hell for breaking the heart of a girl as sweet as Bonnie Bennett. If this was his punishment, then he would accept it. If it was the start of his torment, then he would accept it.

* * *

Bonnie was doing the dishes when she noticed the car parked in front of Matt's house, opposite to her house. She didn't understood or even notice that her teacher was also her neighbor.

"Why do you look like that?" Leah asked, curious.

"Can you stop asking questions every five minutes, she is a teenager now," Lucy growled, turning the tarot card on the kitchen island.

"I ask questions if I want, she is my daughter after all."

"Well, stop being so sticky. I'm sure when she gets her degree, she will go as far as possible from Mystic Falls. And I will not blame her, you're tiring when you want to be," Lucy rolled her eyes but Leah ignored her completely.

"So why do you look like that?"

"I didn't notice that my teacher was my neighbor. I just saw his car parked in front of Donovan's house," Bonnie said rinsing plates. Lucy looked at Leah with a nasty look.

"Well, it's none of your business."

"Stop being so rude."

"I'm rude if I want to be. Stop always take her defense." Leah got angry at Lucy.

"So stop talking nonsense to Bonnie. She has a right to know that-"

"Shut up now, Luce."

Bonnie frowned and turned to look at the women who fought by looks. She was already used to their perpetual quarrel about everything and anything. It was common in the family, the Bennett sisters could not be in the same room without arguing or drama of some sort. When that happened, Bonnie just ignored them. But then there was something more profound that Lucy showed if she accused Leah of hiding something.

"You're pathetic, Leah."

"Said the sister who is divorced."

"Please, your husband has probably forgotten that he has a wife in the wilds of Virginia. He had to find a pretty Frenchie girl who doesn't make drama every few seconds," Lucy laughed and Leah frowned.

"You are unbearable."

"I know," Lucy shrugged.

"I'm done, I'll go to see Elena," Bonnie said, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

"Don't come home late."

"OK." Bonnie sighed, walking toward the back door of the house.

"Have fun, Bonnie!"

"Yes auntie!" She screamed and closed the door.

Once Bonnie disappeared, Lucy leaned across the table. "You're pathetic."

"Stop saying that!" Leah slowly drank her grenadine juice. "You should not judge me."

"You know it's not fair what you are doing."

"Whatever."

"She will know sooner or later and she will hate you. And I'll be in the front row to enjoy the show with a large package of popcorn."

Leah grinned, "What do you do here anyway?"

"I live here stupid."

"Find yourself a house."

"I like yours." Lucy turned her tarot card. "Bonnie has the right to know."

"It's just a story that happened years ago. I don't see how it matters now."

"It's important because he's back and I'm sure he'll tell her."

"I'm sure he will not. It is just because this junkie Vicki overdosed that he is back. When she gets better, he will leave and then Bonnie will forget him again. Plus he's her teacher, he will not dare to do anything. "

"You're just a bitter woman jealous of her own daughter."

"And you're a failure." Leah laughed at that.

"It will explode in your face I tell you ... Look." The three cards that Lucy returned to Leah were: love, judgment and stars. Leah snorted and took a sip of her grenadine juice. "The cards say you will be faced with two people who love each other deeply and that despite the obstacles you will put in front of them, their destiny is already written. You will be judged for your sins, Leah."

"I have done nothing wrong," Leah said with remorse.

"If you really think that then you're more stupid than I thought."

* * *

 **Please update! I know It's been a long time but I'm now on it.**


	4. what I did for love

**Here an another chap ;)**

* * *

Bonnie was walking toward Matt's house. She was returning from Elena's house. She spent two hours listening her rave about Tyler the quarterback. It didn't interest her at all even to go out with a guy from the same football team as Tyler, even if there were cute boys, Bonnie was not at all interested in this kind of conversation. She listened to her without paying much attention without even talking. Elena could talk for hours without waiting for a reply or even asking if Bonnie was well. She had a little selfish side but Bonnie still loved her, she was her childhood friend.

After the long 'discussion', Bonnie had the idea to buy an assortment of cakes to wish a nice welcome to Matt. She didn't know that Vicki had a brother, much less that he was her new french teacher. She wanted to look nice especially since she really needed his tutoring. She had not seen her father for 3 years and this was an opportunity to bond with him and make him proud. Then she walked with confidence to Matt's house with a pastry box in her hands.

Arriving at the porch of the house, she rang the doorbell and waited. A few minutes went by unanswered, yet there was light in the house and she could hear noises inside. She pressed again on the bell.

"Yes! Yes! I'm coming!" Matt shouted from the inside of the house. When he opened the door and he gasped.

"Good evening sir. I just come to give you a little welcome gift. We are neighbors so I thought it would be polite to come to say welcome," Bonnie said softly. She licked her lower lip, looking at the bare state of Matt. He smiled and ran a hand through his hair.

"Thanks ... It wasn't necessary," He said. Matt was shirtless, he was sweating and had some task fat on the arms. Bonnie could not help looking down on the perfect V beautifully drawn on his belly with a tidy six pack. It was like a big arrow indicating where his almost visible masculinity was through the pants, the man was wearing tight jogging pants.

He made a charming smile seeing how Bonnie ogled him. "Uhm I'll take that so ..."

"Oh uh yes, this is for you," she quickly handed the package. He wiped his hand on his pants and took the package.

"Thank you."

"Just to know, did you take you planning? You know, for the tutoring?"

"Yes ... I am available Tuesday and Thursday. But I intend to make an announcement for more students for tutoring. We could start alone with me here and when I have more students, we will do it in a classroom at the school."

"I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding students for tutoring," She laughed.

"Why?" He smiled.

"Well, you're pretty young compared to other teachers and the girls in my class have all a crush for you." He laughed sheepishly at that.

"I would hope it's because I teach well."

"Oh you teach well just ... Are you too ... You know."

He nodded with a mean smile, "Do you want to enter a minute? I would at least give you something to drink to thank you for that," he pointed pastry package.

"You don't have to."

 _God he's so gorgeous_.

"I know but I want to, unless you don't want to, in this case-"

"No. I want to and anyway I will come here tomorrow for tutoring. That way, I will already be familiar with the place."

"You want to start tomorrow?" He opened the door wider to let her in.

"Yes, don't you want to? I mean if you have things to do we can start later," She said, turning her fingers. Bonnie went into the house and Matt closed the door behind her.

"No it's okay. I'll be here all day. The house needs a clean sweep."

"I can see that," she laughed slightly. There were boxes in the rooms and not open suitcases. The room was not very clean at the base but that was the fault of Vicki and her messy kind.

"Sorry it's so messy, I only moved in yesterday ..." He walked past her to walk quickly toward the couch. He smoothed the couch and beat the cushions a bit on the edges to make it more presentable. "Here, you can sit. I will come back with drinks."

"Okay," she sat down and Matt disappeared into the kitchen. Bonnie heard the sound of glasses moving and smiled a little. She got up and walked around the room looking at the pictures on the shelves.

There were pictures of him, his sister and his mother. But none of his father. Bonnie noticed the shape of a telescope under a paper packaging, she approached and touched the telescope packed thoughtfully.

"Here, an orange juice freshly squeezed with some ice," Matt said, returning from the kitchen with a tray where there were two empty glasses and a jug of juice. He had wore a gray tank top corresponding to his jogging.

"Is it a telescope?" She pointed the packaged thing.

"Yes ..." He put the tray on the table and walked towards her. Matt walked toward Bonnie without removing his eyes from her. He wanted to jump on her and take her on the couch but could not for so many reasons that it was unnecessary to list them all. As he approached her, she swallowed hard. Matt's gaze was almost melancholic in its depth. Both looked at each other in the eyes at every step he took toward her. Standing beside her, he frowned and looked away quickly toward the object.

"This is a telescope that I have had since I was a teenager," he began to unwrap the object to show the beautiful silver telescope. "I always loved watching the stars and constellations. This is one of my passions." He patted the telescope that was well preserved.

"It's cool ... I have the same passion. I have no telescope but I love watching the stars at night. I think I've always done it," She said looking at the beautiful telescope.

Matt's face became serious. "Did you ... Look at the stars alone?"

She looked up at him, "I think ... I don't remember." She said sadly and walked to the couch.

"What do you mean? If it is not impolite."

Bonnie poured the freshly squeezed orange juice in two glasses.

"When I was eleven, a few things happened and I ... I lost some of my memory." She drank the juice and moaned softly. "It's really delicious. I've always loved pressed oranges."

"I know ..." he said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"What happened when you were eleven years old?" He said with a worried voice. Matt came to sit beside her.

"I ... I experienced a traumatic event. The doctors said that I didn't want to face reality then I forgot. I know it's weird but ... maybe it's for the better. I mean my mother never wanted to tell me more of my childhood saying nothing special happened but I know something serious enough happened for my brain to choose to forget all my childhood memories."

"You've forgotten everything ... All the years before your eleven years old?" He said, injured.

"Yes ... The doctors told me that it happens often in victims of trauma. They say that my memory will come back when I'm ready. I'm in no hurry anyway, it's just memories of my childhood. Thinking of that, there is nothing important in that," She laughed nervously.

"Bonnie ..." Matt had watched her with so much pain and so many regrets.

"Sir ... are you okay?"

He looked away and placed his elbow on his knees, he looked out the window. The sun was setting. He was heartbroken after what she had just said. It was as if she had just told him that he had done something wrong when that was exactly what he did to help prevent anything from happening to her. Because of his choice, she lived through such a significant trauma for her to forget all the years with him. He never wanted to hurt her, he would beat the face of the person who would dare harm her. But it was him, even when he had done nothing. He had pushed her away for her own good but she was still injured. He had hurt deeply her.

"I'm sorry ... I'm really sorry Bonnie." He bit his lower lip and shook his head. Bonnie put the glass on the table and put her hand on his arm.

"What happened is not your fault."

Matt took a deep breath and turned his head toward her. Bonnie quickly removed her hand off his arm and swallowed audibly.

"You remember nothing because you were traumatized by an event ..."

"Yes ..."

His jaw clenched and he got up from the sofa, Matt stood in front of the telescope, remembering all the time he spent with her, using this telescope. All the time they watched the stars, holding hands.

"You often look at the stars so ..." She asked.

"Yes."

"What is your favorite constellation?"

"Cassiopeia ..." He turned around. "My favorite constellation is Cassiopeia. I had ... I had someone in my life once who I called Cass because every time I looked in her eyes, I seemed to see the stars of Cassiopeia. Her beauty and her innocence touched me so much that I thought I was flying through the starry night. When I was lost and alone, I had to just look at her for find my path and my path always led me to her. "

"It's beautiful ... You really loved this Cass." She was smiling.

"I still do."

"It's getting late ... I must go back before my mother calls the police," she laughed, rising from the couch.

"Of course." They walked in silence to the door and he opened it for her. "Go back safely."

"What time do you want me to come tomorrow?"

"Before 7 pm. My tutoring takes three hours, the same as the time of my lessons during class. We will start with the basics."

"I'll come at 4 pm, I have cheerleading before so I can not come sooner."

"That's ok."

"Thank you again ... for helping me, sir."

He smiled, "You can call me Matt."

"Matt it will be," she smiled in return. "Night."

"Night."

Matt closed the door and slid down the door to sit down. He had watery eyes, thinking about what he had done. He never wanted to hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her so much. His Bonnie was everything he dreamed about, he hoped that one day she would become his wife and they could have a house full of children together. When he was teenager, he fantasized about their future, having a perfect life together, he'll do anything to not spoil this hypothetical future. It was as if the weight of his guilt had doubled in size. He was gone from town, leaving her alone as her father did and she remained traumatized because of it. But he never thought it would cause such consequences. He never imagined she would have to forget him to move on.

Maybe forgetfulness was better than hate. If she had hated him, she never would have asked the tutoring, he would never have had the opportunity to see her in his house again and he could never touch her again. But alas, there was the spectrum of her memories that were always there hidden in her brain.

 _Will she love me? Will she hate me?_

Maybe she would do both. All he could do was pretend he had ever seen before and let things happen. Matt deeply thought it was a punishment from heaven, it was his fault, he had her but ruined everything.

* * *

 _"Take a look." Matt said to Bonnie. They were on the roof of his house and the stars shone a thousand lights. Bonnie leaned forward to look through the telescope. "Do you see it? It's you."_

 _"Cassiopeia?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _She sat down to watch Matt who was wearing a black hoodie. "I'm not as beautiful as her, Matty."_

 _"You're even more beautiful, Cass." He smiled while looking into her green eyes. "When you grow up, you are going to be sparkling even more than the stars in the heaven. I hope to be there to see it."_

 _"You'll be there, you promised never to leave me, do you remember?"_

 _"Yes I know." He looked at the little girl in his arms. "But it will be difficult to stay with you. I am becoming a man when you're still a child."_

 _"Stay with me while I become a woman too. And then we will never break up," she said dreamily._

 _"If one day I asked you to marry me, you would accept?"_

 _"Of course, Matty. I want us to stay together forever," She quickly replied and Matt looked at her sadly._

 _"So one day I'll have to ask you."_

 _"One day ..." She repeated dreamily gazing at the stars. There, in Matty's arms, she felt more complete than ever._

Bonnie woke up in the middle of the night sweating. She had dreamed of her teacher, it was so real that she was troubled. Also in her dream she seemed to have the age at which she lost her memory. It was so weird. She went into the bathroom to wash her face and then she went back to bed. That evening she dreamed of him again, she dreamed of them on the roof of his home.


	5. Set fire to the rain

**Enjoy ;) don't forget to review!**

* * *

The next day, Matt's house was cleaner. The pipes were not blocked, the porch and the gutters were cleaned. The garden was weeded, the lawn was mowed and some unscrewed windows was nailed right. Matt's house was definitely more presentable than a few days ago.

With Kelly being sick and Vicki who took drugs, the house was in disrepair before his arrival. But now everything was clean. He could receive Bonnie in a clean house. Matt had all night to meditate and think about his situation. He concluded that he will not speak of the past, some things were better this way. He would spend the time needed in Mystic Falls and when Vicki was back up on her feet, he will return to his home to Dallas and continue his life with his best friends Stefan and Damon.

Bonnie came at 4 pm as scheduled. Matt had rearranged the living room to prepare for the tutoring. A table and two chairs, books and papers on the table. They started reviewing the basics of the language, the grammar and spelling. She had some difficulties on verb conjugation, but he would quickly help her to improve. After a brief reminder of the basics, they did a few practical exercises. Simple words like Bonjour or Bonsoir. Differences in courtesies and turn of phrases.

Matt laughed while listening to her stammer in French; her American accent was very discernable. Bonnie admired his French accent, he looked like he had always lived in France. It was such an experience hear him speak French. Even more than in the classroom, he was here before her, just the two of them in this great house. And she was bewitched by him. Bonnie had already forgotten the dreams that troubled her the day before. Maybe it was a reflex to block the arrival of her memories, but she could not remember anything about her dreams that she had about their childhood, about the time they had spent together.

Hours were spent so quickly, he started talking of his life in France. She laughed when he told her about the escapades of Damon and Stefan. Her laugh was almost too good to be described by him.

"I can not imagine they did this," She laughed.

"I swear they did, they put on a swimsuit and they jumped into a water fountain."

"It's crazy, there were no police to stop them?"

"In fact almost all the world was in a bathing suit, it was summer and people often like to jump in fountains even if it's in public. The girls were in bikinis and men in panties bath." He laughed. "It was like being at the beach but we were in a park in the middle of Paris."

"You didn't put on a swimsuit?" She giggled.

"Uhm it was kind of too embarrassing for me," he smiled.

"I can understand, I would not dare either. Already at the beach I think twice before putting a bikini on. I can not imagine wearing one in such a place as Paris."

He smiled, "I understand. I think we're done for today."

"Yes it is already 6 p.m. Thank you it was very helping and ...entertaining," she chuckled.

"I have other stories like these don't worry." He took the textbooks and piled the up.. Bonnie straightened her stuff to put in her bag.

"I can't wait to hear them," she stood up and put her bag on her shoulder.

"I can't wait to tell you." He got up too.

Matt had a special way of looking at her, not perverse, but admiring. And it was true that Matt looked at Bonnie like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. Every time she smiled, he had the impression that his heart warmed. He had spent six years imagining what she looked like and he was not prepared to see her so radiant.

Today she wore a sky blue dress ending at knee level with long sleeves. Her hair was in soft curls that flowed over her shoulders and her back. She was wearing a red pendant he remembered her receiving because he was there on the Christmas Sunday when Sheila offered it to her. Matt was not prepared to see her or hear her voice but now he enjoyed her presence when he broke her heart years before.

"Do you have things to do after?" She asked curiously.

"No, just prepare for class tomorrow, watch movies and sleep. My life is boring here, Parisian fountains almost miss me." He laughed while walking to her side.

"There is a fountain that was built just before the town hall. It is a fountain coming out from the ground, it is quite nice to see and- Ouch!" She stumbled and Matt caught her up with accuracy.

"I got you," he said softly, he held her by the arms and she smiled nervously.

"Uhm ... thank you." She rose slowly. Their eyes met, he smiled from the corner of the mouth as Bonnie stared his eyes. An abyss was about to engulf her. She looked at him straight in the eye. "You ... you really have very expressive eyes."

He raised an eyebrow. "Expressive?"

"I can easily read your feelings through your eyes. You're doing stuff with your lips at the same time as your eyes and it's like uh," Bonnie stumbled over the words. "I mean there are people who have the same expression when they are happy or sad or excited or thoughtful ... and you can easily distinguish each expression."

"And then ... what's my expression now?" Matt looked down at her, neither of them had noticed that his hands still held her arms.

"Something ... between sadness and desire."

They stayed to look each other a little longer than necessary. Then he let her go and crouched to take the book she had dropped.

"Sorry ... I'm in the drama club so I learned to read facial expressions to better reproduce them."

"Your book, it should not be forgotten. You will need it in my class tomorrow." He held out the exercise book.

"Yeah sure." She took the book, their fingers were grazed and Matt gasped.

"I think I want to go out to get some fresh air, I need to clear my head." They were at the door, he opened the door for her. "Where did you say that was this fountain? "

Bonnie turned around, "I can show you ..."

"Do you want to come with me?" He asked without really believing it.

"Just to show you, I guess you don't know where the town hall is."

"Uhm ... yeah I don't know," He lied. "Let me take the keys of my car," he said and ran inside the house to take a jacket and his car key. Then he returned back. She was standing on the porch. "Let's go?"

"Yes," Bonnie smiled.

Both turned in the direction of Matt's car, he opened the door for her as always. He walked around the car to get in the driver's seat. He started the car and drove through the streets of Mystic Falls. Bonnie told him the way he already knew. There have not really talked in the car, he noticed she was writing messages on her mobile phone and giggled at times. Matt regretted the time he was the one to make her chuckle, the only one to be her friend. This time when he accompanied her every morning to school and they listened to the radio, singing the hits playing. He felt so old next to her and now he felt useless to her. He was not Matty blue eyes anymore but Mr. Donovan, her French teacher.

"Right there, you can park there."

Matt parked the car on the side of the road outside the town hall, which was closed. The sun was setting over the city of Mystic Falls. There were some people who were walking and people sitting on the benches. The autumn weather was quite mild. The trees had taken a nice brown color that reflected the light of the setting sun.

Outside the town hall of Mystic Falls, there was a big empty space where the fountain was, it was built in the ground. Thus when there was a speech by the mayor, the fountain disappeared completely. The fountain was made with a square basin in which there were gushing jets of water directly from the ground lines, the water traveling up to 15 m with a changing choreography. The new mayor had built it to show his good faith. Matt and Bonnie, however, were before the fountain but nothing happened.

"Is it normal?" Matt asked.

"No, absolutely not, it should have lines of jets coming out."

"Yes I know the type, there are many in Paris."

Bonnie bit her lower lip and walked toward the basin until she was in the middle of it.

"Bonnie, you should come back."

"It almost never stops, except for the show," she frowned.

"Bonnie, you should come back now, it can activate at any time," Matt said, running to her.

"Of course not, maybe they stopped and-AHHHH" she cried when water gushed from the ground. Matt laughed, he too was in the middle of the basin. "Oh no no no my hair," she put her hands on her curls that no longer resembled of curls.

"You should have listened to me, these kind of fountains follow a cycle. At the end of the cycle, it pauses and after-" water gushed again, wetting them from head to foot. Matt laughed again when he saw the head of Bonnie. He didn't know why, but he brushed her cheek with his hand, laughing. "You should have listened to me."

Water gushed again under their feet, but they didn't move, they were content to laugh while Matt brushed aside each wet piece of hair off her face. Such a display was not good, not recommended, especially not allowed between a teacher and his student. Between an adult and a minor of 17 years old but fortunately people were not paying attention. They only saw two young people laughing merrily with their nonsense.

"We should get out of there, people will find it strange."

"I know ..." He looked at her suddenly with sadness and put a fake smile on his face. "Do we walk or do we run?"

"At the point where I am, it doesn't make any fucking difference," She groaned and he laughed for real this time.

Matt and Bonnie walked over the basin of the splashing fountain. It was so unrealistic that Matt could not put words to the feelings that he was overwhelmed with. It was not the fact of seeing the curves of her body through the thin fabric of her wet dress or her wet hair tousled or her green eyes shining like the constellation Cassiopeia but the closeness they had shared as if she recognized him anew. He had noticed that she made no comment when he brushed his hands on her or touched her inadvertently. She just looked at him with her green eyes.

If someone had told him three days ago that he would be too close to her like that, he would've absolutely not believed a word. But yet in the space of a few hours, they talked, laughed, even touched within a few seconds. This little girl he had left behind six years ago was his first and only true love... Bonnie Bennett.

* * *

It had been two weeks he was in Mystic Falls and he was tutoring her. He had tell to his class about tutoring and Bonnie was right, most people interested were girls. There were only two boys whom he suspected one of wanting to go out with Bonnie. He had a total of seven students for tutoring. They all met on Saturday at the school. and worked for hours until students were too tired. Matt was pretty relaxed with his pupils. Bonnie still came on Tuesdays and Thursdays but they lasted over three hours, it was more to ask questions about homework he gave in class. He was happy to see that she was the best student of his class.

Vicki was feeling better and regaining her strength slowly, he had spoken to her about a detox center in another city in Virginia where she could go after her release from the hospital. Although he was in Mystic Falls at the moment, he didn't intend to stay for a lifetime to monitor her. She had to take her life back as an adult.

The temptation ... He struggled every day to not succumb to it. But it was so hard to fight and so easy to succumb. Falling was easier than fighting in all cases. But he was fighting, he was fighting against himself not to take her in his arms, place his hands in her curly hair, stroke her beautiful thighs, taste her lips, touch her where no one else had touched her before. A fucking temptation with which he fought, but it was hard. His poor body had not experienced the sensation of a naked woman in a long time.

Again tonight, Matt woke up sweaty after an another erotic dream about Bonnie. He was lying on his back, both hands on the face. He wanted to have sex and his criminal penis wanted the body of Bonnie. She was 17 years old, she was a teenager, ready for sex if she didn't already do it with the casanova with a name of Jeremy. But yet he felt guilty for thinking of her that way, he felt dirty imagining her in indecent positions, making her scream his name again and again. Matt wiped the sweat off his forehead with one hand and then closed his eyes. As he wanted to, he saw Bonnie. He imagined her on the same table where he did his tutoring, he imagined himself between her spread legs, he imagined himself penetrate her fast and hear her moans muffled by his kiss. He imagined her clinging to him moaning louder and louder as he pounded into her making her grind against the wooden table.  
Matt's hand was in his boxers and he masturbated imagining Bonnie Bennett. It was felt so wrong and so good at the same time. He imagined her screaming his name as he would release his load into her. Matt opened his eyes and got up from the bed after cumming in his hand and soiling his underwear. He needed a shower, a cold shower.


	6. the Nightcall

"Bonnie? Bonnie? Wait!" Jeremy ran toward to her.

She turned around. "Hey Jer!"

"Are you fine?"

"Yeah and you?" Bonnie smiled politely.

"Good, good. I was wondering if you wanted to come home tonight, Elena will be at Tyler's. We can watch Netflix and have a chill evening," He suggested.

Bonnie looked away, she saw Matt enter his car. She noticed that his hair was longer on the top of his head and it had slightly changed its orientation. Usually when he gives them a french style, he place them slightly to the side to give him a serious look but today, his short blond hair was tousled that made him a slightly sexy look.

"We can watch what you like, such as romantic movies or even the kind of things girls like to do," he added. Bonnie got out of her mental analysis.

"Maybe another year uh day, another day Jer. I gotta go."

"Wait ... Then when?"

"Uhm I don't know-"

"This weekend! Say yes please," he begged and she laughed. "If you say no, I'll tell Elena that you denied me a date and you know her."

"She'll have a super urgent meeting to ask me a lot of questions about my refusal and will wants me to explain exactly why I was not available," She said almost reciting. Jeremy chuckled. "Okay, this Saturday then."

"Good! See ya!" Jeremy said before running to his friends from the football team.

Bonnie rolled her eyes and walked to the parking lot, muttering, "Oh Bonnie do you want to sleep with me, I will use a condom if you want," she said softly, imitating the voice of Jeremy. "Jerk!" she whispered. She knew he was not really interested in her but her V card. "Double jerk." She opened her car door and sat in the driver's seat with a long sigh and closed the door. Everything was the fault of Elena who, for some dark reason, told him that Bonnie Bennett was still a virgin and Jeremy had his mouth water.

She rolled up to her home by imitating the voice of Jeremy and saying all the evil intentions he had toward her and he didn't even hide his sexual intention in a love crush thing. She would have liked him if he wasn't such a casanova and an awesome jerk. Bonnie parked the car in front of her house and jumped out of the car in anger. The drive only increased her anger against the Gilbert's. The heels of her boots hit the floor as she walked quickly to the door of the house. She opened the door and slammed the door behind her.

"Whoa whoa, hold on young ladl, who made you mad like that? Tell me so I know whose ass to beat," Leah said seeing Bonnie.

"Hey auntie," Bonnie whispered.

"Hi beauty queen. So tell me who made you mad?" Lucy put her hands on her hips.

"A boy ... A jerk, in fact." Bonnie went upstairs and Lucy followed her.

"The neighbor?"

"Who?"

"Donovan! Who else!" Leah jumped on the bed of Bonnie, giggling like a girl.

"No!" Bonnie frowned. "He's my teacher, you should tell me that I must not get close to boys instead."

Lucy shrugged, "I know you will do it anyway. I'll be here when you're going to take the plunge."

Bonnie jumped on the bed, slipped near Lucy and put one arm around her auntie. "I want to do it with someone special."

"We all want that and end up finished with a drunk quarterback in the back of a car full of empty cans."

Bonnie giggled. "Not my case. I will not make the same mistake as you."

"Hey!" Lucy lightly slapped Bonnie's arm and Bonnie laughed. "Respect your aunt and that was interesting thirty seconds." Bonnie laughed.

"Thirty seconds?" Bonnie laughed to tears.

"He told me he got cold," Leah snickered and Bonnie continued to laugh. "Anyway don't expect something exceptional, I just want to protect you and you to take the pill."

"I know auntie," Bonnie sighed, shaking her arm around Lucy who was stroking her head affectionately. "I often want to remember what I forgot, the more time passes the more I feel that what I forgot was important. "

"You will remember when you're ready, Bonnie."

"Yeah I know ... But ... Nevermind."

"What?"

"I'm afraid to remember but I also think I'm ready. It was not so serious, it was not an accident nor assault so I want to know what it was. It's like a part of me that I've hidden from myself and I want to find that part of me, even if it hurts."

"Give yourself time and maybe if you gave your V card to someone it will traumatize you enough to bring back your memories," she teased and Bonnie could not help laughing.

"If mom hears you, you're dead."

"You know me, beauty queen. I will beat her ass too."

Bonnie laughed again. "Auntie!"

"I'm her big sister, she can not do nothing."

"I may be so jealous when you will have a baby one day. I love you so much, auntie."

"You will always remain my first daughter, don't worry." She gave her a kiss on the head. "Plus when you go to college, I'm your roommate."

"Sure! I would have nobody else."

"When you find your crush, you will want him to live with you."

"And if ... If I already found him."

"Well I suggest you buy condoms, beauty queen. These boys ain't loyal at all."

Bonnie laughed again. "You're amazing."

* * *

In the middle of the night, wearing black pajama pants with white and a white tank top with the edge of the lace neckline, Bonnie was walking toward Matt's house. She had a horrible nightmare where she cried and cried to prevent a person that she likes from going away. She still shuddered when snatches of the nightmare replayed in her head. She felt that going on the roof of this house will give her some peace. Bonnie often went on the roof of this house when Donovan sleeped. The house was often empty and the staircase wall that overlooked the roof was quite accessible. The lower part of the roof was flat enough to sit and watch the stars. Bonnie walked quickly, she went to the side of the house where the staircase was, then she climbed it fairly easily.

* * *

Song: Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran

* * *

"Bonnie?"

Her eyes widened when he saw Matt sitting where she used to sit.

"Oh My God! I'm really sorry Matty really sorry," she waved her arms. "I just used to come here when I have a nightmare and I had one tonight and I thought I could come and... Please don't be mad, I'm really sorry." She panicked.

Matt looked at her and he could not suppress the tears that rose.  
"What ... What I have said?" Bonnie slowly approached, she could see his tears beading on his blue eyes.

"You ..." He swallowed hard, "you called me Matty."

"Uhm ... Oh I'm sorry ... I guess ... I didn't realize. But Matt why are you crying?" She sat next to him and he wiped his tears and turned his head toward Bonnie.

"You had a nightmare?"

"Yes ..."

"You want to talk about it?" He asked softly and Bonnie shook her head. "When you come here, what do you do usually?"

"I just look at the stars, nothing special. The quiet of the night soothes me."

"I understand, the quiet of the night also soothes me. Do you mind if we remained silent and enjoyed the quiet of the night together?"

She smiled, "I'd like that."

Then they sat together on the roof without say a word. The comfortable silence that existed between them was incredibly soothing. Matt took advantage of the presence of Bonnie to calm his feelings and Bonnie took advantage of the presence of Matt to calm her fear. The stars shone in the sky. Matt sighed, the weather was so good. A beautiful night in the presence of his Cass that was not really his Cass anymore. Bonnie shivered beside him.

"You are cold..."

"No, It's okay," She sniffed.

"You can ... Uh I mean you can," he said awkwardly adjusting his posture, he openly offered her to take her in his arms and she smiled.

"I'm too cold to say no and I don't want to move from here for now."

"I can get you a blanket." He was about to stand up.

"No, please stay," she grabbed his arm.

"I stay then." He opened his arms and Bonnie sighed, huddling against him. There was no one to see them and plus they did nothing wrong she said to herself. "Better?"

"Much better." She closed her eyes. "Thanks for being so nice to me, Matt."

"This is normal. I can not do otherwise with you."

"Why?"

"Tu es importante pour moi, plus que tu ne peux l'imaginer." (You're important to me, more than you can imagine.)

"What did you say?" She smiled, she really loved his French accent.

"Just that ... It doesn't matter. We can come back to silence if you want."

"Ok ..." She didn't want to insist, she was too sleepy for that, she just huddled in his warm arms.

Bonnie was scantily dressed and she was in his arms but somehow he didn't think about sex. It was as if he was with the little Bonnie of his memories, he just wanted to hold her, say how much he loved her and say innocently that all would be well. He wanted to keep the beauty of the moment and look at the stars with his love, his love since childhood, his first love. Everything would have been perfect if he had forgotten their past together too, but unfortunately the weight of this memories weighed in his heart like an anchor that prevented him from rising to the surface.

Matty blue eyes always wanted Bonnie Bennett as his wife and have children with blue or green eyes or both regardless. He just wanted to spend his life with her but he could not. He was too old and she was too young. He wanted her to grow up in security away from men and even of him.

He wanted her to discover what was desire and love was by herself. He wanted her to be a teenager without the protective and possessive shadow he would have created around her. Maybe he would be already in jail, maybe they would have sex with her at 15 years old in his car or 16 years old in her bedroom, in any case it would've been his fault. He knew he was right to leave her but that situation was no better now. Matt sighed, the time has passed so quickly. He looked at his watch, it was 3:30 a.m.

Matt looked down at the sleeping figure in his arms.

"Bonnie?" She moved slightly. "Cassiopeia?"

"Matty ..." She mumbled with a sleepy voice and a bright smile lit his face. He placed a kiss on the top of her head and turned gently to place one arm under her thighs. After checking that she was really asleep, he moved to better carry her and he made a parish gymnastic to get up with Bonnie asleep in his arms. Matt walked with Bonnie in his arms until his bedroom window, he took notice of her head on the way. He put on Bonnie down delicately on the entangled blankets.

Bonnie woke up but didn't want to open her eyes to prevent him from forcing her to get back home. She wanted to be there in his bed just for tonight, she would not sleep alone in her room. But Matt didn't plan to sleep in the same bed as her. He wanted to so badly but he did not make all those hard choices to protect her from himself to screw all up. He was preparing mentally to go sleep on the couch when his repressed thoughts resurfaced.

Then without thinking he knelt by the bed before her. He watched the movement of her chest with each breath, she was not sleeping. He knew her so well, her breathing was uneven, despite her attempts to calm down, Matt could tell she was not sleeping. As the protector of her dreams that he was when she was a child, he knew when Bonnie was pretending. But that didn't stop him. As a Nightcall, her lips called him. Matt gently placed a lock of hair behind her ear.  
He lovingly stroked her cheek and passed his thumb on her lips which parted in the way. Bonnie also heard the Nightcall because she wanted that too.

"I love you so much than it hurts... my Cassiopeia, please forgive me." He closed his eyes and placed his lips on hers. An indescribable moment for both, the desire that came from their beings, merged together by that kiss. Matt broke the kiss and opened his eyes. Bonnie's breathing was jerky. He allowed himself to kiss her one last time and got up then walked to the door and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Bonnie sat in a rapid movement then with a strange slowness she brought her fingers to her lips and licked her lips where Matt had put two chaste kisses.

"Matty ..."


	7. Only the moon knows their secret

At first the morning, Matt knocked on his bedroom door to wake Bonnie up. He waited several minutes before enter and finding the empty bed. He understood that she had to leave before his awakening or maybe after the kiss he gave her. Matt was nervous, he dreaded her reaction. That night he knew she was not asleep but he kissed her anyway. Maybe he didn't want her to forget this time, he never wanted to be selfish with his Cass but yesterday he wanted her to know the depth of torments in which she plunged him. He wanted to feel her soft lips on him and he felt they were as sweet and beautiful as he dreamed than he was smiling like a fool while lying on the couch.

There was no way to go further but the kiss maybe seal his fate. Matt was nervous to go to class and see her.

 _How she will react?_

He could not believe she left before he could speak with her; he could explain why he dared to kiss her. Gosh! he wanted to do much more but he could not, besides that kiss was not a physical impulsion but an emotional need. He needed to prove that he exists, that his feelings exist, and her denial hurt him. He needed her in a way he could not explain. Matt was so nervous that he couldn't shave that morning, he was too nervous to hold a blade, let alone handle it on his own face.

He continued his routine without any real focus. He put a shirt and navy pants and his French black belt leather shoes. He chose not to put gel in his hair today, he was (obviously) not in the mood. He just quickly ran his fingers through his hair to arrange everything and put on cologne. He took one last look in the mirror before skittering into the kitchen, drinking a glass of orange juice and grabbed his car keys. He was not hungry, in fact his stomach churned with anxiety. It was still early, he should've eaten something but he couldn't, not with him being as anxious as he was for Bonnie's reaction.

He thought of all the possibilities, maybe she would hate him, maybe she would despise him, maybe she would take him for a pervert. It was true he spent most his night dreaming of her and masturbated over imagining making love to her, but he would never dare touch her without her permission. The kiss yesterday was as innocent as it could be, despite his instinct being to make it more passionate. He began to seriously blame himself for having kiss her. He could go to prison; he could lose everything if he was accused of touching a minor. He was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

The bitter coffee hadn't calmed him a bit. If anything, it was some form of punishment that his guiltiness was heightened by the caffeine. Matt sat in his empty classroom at his desk. He seemed to lose himself within his reflection of the polished wood, for he didn't seem to hear the door open and someone come in.

"Hi ..."

Matt turned and Bonnie Bennett was standing at the door of the classroom. She licked her lips nervously being suddenly shy before his scrutinizing gaze.

"Hi Bonnie. It's early. The class begins in an hour." He rose with all his glory.

"I know ... I wanted to tell you uh..."

"I know you were not asleep last night." He said sheepishly, "I ... I'm sorry to have crossed the line, I can understand if you want to complain to the director and-"

"Matt!" She took a step toward him, seemingly upset that he could even imagine such a thing, "I will never do that. I can't believe you think I would report you, especially since you did nothing wrong!"

Matt walked slowly toward her, "I kissed you ..."

"You didn't do anything I didn't want..." she murmured, looking away from his intense gaze.

"I took advantage of you." He continued walking towards her, forcing her to look him in the eye.

"You didn't ... I wanted ... I wanted that."

"Why?"

The breath caught in her throat as he was now facing her. Bonnie shook her bag. She could not say it but she thought he was too close to her and she liked it. Close enough that he had only to take one more step to capture her lips.

"I don't know the answer to that question."

He frowned. The line between his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at her, "Then… you wanted me to kiss you?" He asked incredulously.

"Maybe Matt ... I'm sorry I left so soon, I didn't want to disturb you and-"

"You wanted me to kiss you." He said incredulously. She didn't know why but the perfect blend of his deep voice and his serious face gave her physical desires to jump on him. She could feel her lower region grow hot and almost uncomfortable. Matt looked surprised at the thought that Bonnie could want him want him as well. She looked hesitant as she placed her hand on his cheek.

"I want to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me. You called me Cassiopeia ... Am I the girl you were talking about last time?"

She stroked him gently, feeling his heartbeat faintly. His lips parted to speak, but nothing came out. The moment was intense, he wanted her even more than before by the realization that she also wanted him. But Matt, realizing the situation the two put themselves in, resumed himself quickly, "No ... you look like her, that's all. The class will begin soon," he took off her hand of her cheek, "I need to prepare for the class. I'll see you in a few minutes." He turned to walk to his desk, hoping the uncomfortable bulge in his pants would go away quickly.

"Yes of course, I just came to tell you that I'm not angry. We can continue as if nothing had happened. I love our friendship and your tutoring helps me a lot. I don't want to lose that. " Bonnie said quickly. She was disappointed and she didn't even know why. Before he could answer she opened the door. "Uh see you later, Sir." She said and left the classroom.

Matt looked at the door dubiously, and released the breath he didn't even realize he was holding. He sighed and began to organize his papers. The class would be long and he planned a little surprise exam for his students. He was not worried about her; Bonnie had become fantastic in French.

The French class happened quietly. Some students griping because of the surprise exam. He noticed the looks that Jeremy launched to Bonnie. She had her nose in her book and didn't pay attention to the attractive looks that Jeremy was giving her. What was not so bad. Matt knew this young football player was not good enough for her. Bonnie deserved better than a boy leaded by his teenage hormone to date her. She deserved someone who knew her value as the smart person she was. Matt wanted her to find this kind of love and respect. He wanted her to find someone who loves her as he did.

* * *

Bonnie was recovering from the rejection of Matt. She was smart, she could understand why he was afraid and why he rejected her. He was her teacher and in addition he was an adult and she was a minor. Yes, she understood the logic of things. But she could not ignore her own feelings. Matt was special to her, and not like any other. Yes, she caught him sometimes looking at her with covetous eyes but he never did or said anything inappropriate. He has always been perfectly respectful and their conversation was constructive. She loved the attention he gave her in every tutoring lesson, he took his time to explain her the rules of grammar without punishing her when she had made a mistake. His pedagogy was impeccable with her like with other students. Not to mention his beauty, the way his blue eyes lit up when they laughed together was magnificent.

Bonnie fancied him intensely and she was falling hard for her teacher, what a cliche! But when it was looked at closely, it was anything but. Their attraction was real, so mysterious and so deep. She knew there were some things that Matt hid her she could not put my finger on. When he kissed her, he called her Cassiopeia and asked for forgiveness. She could not know what those words meant. Everything became confused in her head.

It didn't help at all to see him run around the football field during her training cheerleader. All the girls almost raved about him. Matt was wearing a red tank top and black basketball shorts, he had headphones on and was dripping with sweat than his blond hair always perfectly combed were wet. Yet he was still the sexiest man she'd ever seen.

"Hello Earth! Here Elena!"

"Uhm Yes," Bonnie blinked several times before realizing that she had to follow the training.

"Concentrate yourself, I remind you that we must do twenty pumps if not Rebecca will yell at us and you know how much I hate that she yells at us."

"Yes, I know," she returned to the pumps as like the other girls.

"What are you thinking about? A boy? My brother?"

"Who?"

"Jeremy! He told me that you have a date with him on Saturday night." Elena was moving arms without quite raising her body. Little technical for not doing the monstrous requested pumps.

"It's not a date, just a Netflix evening."

"Do you know what we say about the Netflix evenings?" Elena asked suggestively.

"Lena, why on earth would you mention to him that I'm a virgin?" Bonnie growled.

"He just wanted to have more info about you and then it's not as if it's a secret, Bon. You always make that embarrassed face every time we talk about sex."

"I don't do an embarrassed face," Bonnie whispered and Elena sneered.

"Oh Yes you do, maybe you should let him pop your cherry." Bonnie winced at that.

"Not in a million years."

"Why? Jeremy is a good guy and he likes you."

 _-He likes my ass_ \- Bonnie thought crassly, but instead said,

"I don't want it, that's all. I want to wait."

"What? That the spiders grow in your pants?"

"Could you stop talking about that."

"Okay don't be angry! I'm kidding. But just to tell you, Jeremy is looking forward to this date."

"That doesn't surprise me," Bonnie looked at Matt, who continued to run and Elena following her gaze.

"Oh the French teacher! Don't you think he's hot?"

Bonnie licked his lower lip and whispered, "uh ... No. Not really."

Elena rolled her eyes, "Maybe you're lesbian."

" Stop talking about sex! And do real pumps, Lena. Don't be a cheater."

Elena laughed, "No matter, don't expect me to pop your cherry." She pulled out her tongue as if she sucked something.

"Just stop now, Gilbert," Bonnie laughed with an embarrassed face.

* * *

After two hours jumping in all directions and shouting the name of the team Timberwolves, the cheerleader rushed into the showers. She had noticed that Matt now was stretching on the stands. It was obvious that he was very athletic, she'd even seen the bloody abs that he religiously kept from view of students.

With the shower finished, she had finished her day. It only remained to go home and do her homework for the next week. Bonnie was walking in the hallway of the school with her bag in hand when an idea had come to her; making her change her direction and run to the library as fast as she could. In large book filled, there was a shelf dedicated to prom photo and elders. She knew that Matt had lived here. He had not told her himself but she had learned it by catching a conversation between teachers who talked about him and was astonished to see how he has done well, at least he had better finished than the rest of his family.

In front of the large shelf filled there was an album 90s, Bonnie selected several and went to sit on a study table. It was pretty fun to see photos of old students of Mystic Falls' Hight school and their message for the future. She laughed reading funny messages and mocked the prom outfits. All this seemed quite antiquated air to her but it definitely wasn't lacking in charm. Bonnie fell on the fateful album of the last year of high school of Matt. There were class photos, brochures and newspapers promoting football match. She escaped a weak breath when she saw the pictures of Matt as teenager.

"Can he be more ... Gorgeous? Jesus!" She passed the fingers of one hand on a picture of the Timberwolves team of that year. He was the team captain; he proudly wore the banner of the high school team with a beautiful smile on his face. He looked surprisingly happy contrast to the tortured man he looked like now. "Matthew Gareth Donovan ..."

"Someone is calling me?"

Bonnie gasped in fear, "Oh My God! You scared me." She screamed and some people said, 'shhh', "uhm sorry," she whispered to the other students.

Matt chuckled and sat beside her, "you're doing research on me? I'm honored."

"I just wanted to see what you looked like as teenager. I'm curious."

He smiled gently, "Well, that was the day we had crushed the other team in a national championship." He came closer and she held her breath, "it was the best game we've ever done. I don't think anyone will succeed in achieving this level even after centuries."

"Yeah ..." she murmured, then turned the pages to arrive at a picture of him at the prom night. She raised her eyebrows, "you were king of the prom night?"

"Uh yes but it wasn't a big deal."

Bonnie looked attentively at the picture, he was beautiful and his partner was too. In fact they were just the perfect.

" She is beautiful..."

"Yes."

Bonnie turned her head toward him, "why are you still single?"

He frowned, "why this question?"

"I mean you're ... you're kind of uh ... you know."

He laughed, "No lightning me."

"Tu es beau, tu ne devrais pas être célibataire," (you're beautiful, you should not be single.)

He smiled, "merci ... Mais je pense qu'il n'y a pas de place pour une autre femme dans mon coeur pour l'instant." ( "Thank you ... But I think there is no place for an another woman in my heart for now.)

"Ok ... I just understood the word 'femme, coeur et merci'." She chuckled and he smiled

"I mean I don't feel ready for a relationship."

" Oh." She nodded.

" And you?"

"I think I'm not ready either. Maybe I should, but I don't know ... Maybe that will change this weekend."

"What will happen this weekend?"

"I have a date."

" A date?"

"Yes ... With Jeremy Gilbert."

He swallowed hard the ball of anger in his throat, "you should turn the page."

Bonnie looked at him carefully, he looked pissed and she had no idea why. She smiled thinking that he could be jealous. She turned the page and smiled, seeing that it was his class photos. After three pages, she saw Matt's cliché, he was rolling his eyes when the photographer took it. He laughed at seeing this photo.

"The photographer made me take this photo three times while I had told him I didn't care about it."

"So you rolled your eyes." She was laughing.

"Yes, he pissed me off."

"What do you want to say to the future?" She read, "I'll find you Cassiopeia, not today, not tomorrow but one day, I'll find you." Bonnie reread this beautiful sentence several times, touched by these words. "Cassiopeia ... That's why you called me yesterday."

"Forget what happened Yesterday Bonnie, that's better," Matt got up from the chair. Bonnie's mouth was opened in astonishment and she wanted to say something but nothing came out. "See you tomorrow for the tutoring. Bye Bonnie." He said and went out as quickly as he appeared.

* * *

 **Review please**


	8. Because of you

**Hey guys, hope you still like this story. This update is for: StilesSmiles2.0 , freckled98 , Jujubee58, Lina.85, Panthre. Thank you for all the reviews. Because of you I will keep writing this. Thanks again.**

* * *

Bonnie grimaced at seeing the text Jeremy sent to her. It was a good grimace that created deep waves between her eyebrows. Lucy noticed and made fun of Bonnie.

"Tell me who made you angry, beauty queen." Lucy said, giggling, "I'm gonna beat this person. And I'm gonna like it."

"Uhm... It's just Jeremy. Nothing important."

"It's important if it gives you wrinkles, my niece." Bonnie smiled and placed her phone under the pillow.

The two Bennett women were lying on the teenager's bed with their feet on the wall. Unlike Bonnie, Lucy had long legs. She was tall and beautiful. Bonnie envied her aunt a lot for that. Unlike Lucy, Bonnie had a small size, 5'2, which complexed her a lot, but her aunt told her every day without exception how beautiful she was and she began to accept herself. It made Bonnie smile thinking about how lucky she was to have an aunt like Lucy. The gorgeous tall woman always knew how to brush Bonnie's worries off. Lucy was still doing it now.

The two women Bennett had been discussing for an hour already and were listening to good contemporary jazz music. Bonnie felt at ease right now, but not enough to tell Lucy what was going to happen tonight. Bonnie had not yet spoken of her date with the horny football player named Jeremy. Normally she told everything to her aunt, but talking to her about Jeremy was like implicitly admitting that he is her boyfriend when he is not. She already felt her stomach getting tangled with anxiety at the thought of being alone with him without anybody else in his home. She should not, according to the advice of the Cheerleader girls. Bonnie has to jump on the opportunity to be with him. After all, Jeremy is a good-looking, skillful player, and in high school that represents everything. Half of her teammates fantasized to date Jeremy Gilbert. The other had already slept with him. What about reputation? She did not have any sexual details, but from what she understood, he managed well in bed. How unnecessary? What kind of skills is that?

Bonnie tossed her toes thoughtfully. She hated decerebrated men. She liked smart men. She wanted to have deep conversations with someone. Talk about things like Politics, famine, travel, earthquakes, and even about extraterrestrial life. She aspired to watch the stars in the middle of the night with his man. She imagined talking about different mythologies with this man. Laugh at intelligent and profound jokes with this man and maybe speak french... Her thoughts went immediately to her neighbor, the beautiful Professor Donovan. With him, she could do all this and more.

Bonnie sighed loudly and slapped a pillow on her face in defeat. She was a lost cause. Lucy snickered. Her niece seemed to be in the midst of an existential dilemma. "So are you gonna tell me what kind of text he send to you? Gossip! Gossip! Gossip!"

Bonnie swallowed her anger and gave her phone to Lucy. She was not worried about doing it. Unlike Leah, Lucy respected her privacy. When she gave Lucy the permission to see a few things on her phone, Lucy didn't rummage through all the files as if she expected to find porn. Leah was like that. Not Lucy. Bonnie felt lucky to have her auntie, again. Lucy read Jeremy's text. It was not just a text, there was also a photo. Lucy passed her perfectly manicured nails on her head as though to scratch her head while she was looking on the phone. The woman narrowed her eyes as she looked at the photo and made a "Tsk" noise before handing the phone back to her niece.

"I'm going to ask you a question. Don't take it wrong." Bonnie burst out laughing and nodded. "But... Is Jeremy dumb?"

"Believe me, I'm asking the same question to myself."

Jeremy sent a very suggestive photo to Bonnie. Sending nude had became a trend to seduce women, and she didn't know. He wanted her to know that he was looking forward to their date, so he sent her a nude where he was covered in sweat with his tongue out. He was so sweaty that she could smell the odor of his sweat. His well trained muscles were perfectly visible. She was not going to lie, Jeremy is quite sexy and may appreciate a look at his abs, but she did not see the connection between having a date and sending nudes.

"Why did he send you that? Did you ask for it?"

"Oh My God! Hell No!" Bonnie shouted annoyedly, "I remember telling him this morning that I love smart and strong men."

Lucy giggled, "I guess, he's opted for the muscles since he's dumb..."

"Is it to make me feel lucky to have a date with him? Because I do not feel lucky right now, I'm rather anxious." Bonnie closed her eyes and cursed herself mentally for releasing the info about the date.

"Interesting. So you do have a date with Jeremy Gilbert?"

"Do not tell mom. Please. She will call him to make him come here." Bonnie suplicated. "I do not even want to go to this date."

"Then do not go." Lucy said it as if it was the most obvious thing on earth.

"I can't do that... Elena is going to hate me."

"You know this is not the right motivation to go to a date, Miss Bennett."

"I know!" Bonnie groaned in confusion. She looked at Lucy with puppy eyes, but Lucy looked at the ceiling without worrying.

"He has to come here-"

"Pleeeease"

"I have to know what kind of guy he is. I don't know him, sorry. I need to know this guy in order not to tell your mom. If anything happens to you, I couldn't forgive myself. So, he has to come here. Don't worry. I will not tell to your mother. But I have at least meet him. If anything happens, I will be able to describe him to the police."

"Auntie, this is Jeremy! Not Hannibal Lecter. Plus he lives in few blocks from here. C'mon." Bonnie rolled her eyes. Sometimes Lucy could be like her mother. Maybe no matter how they were friends, Lucy remained her relative, and she had a duty to protect Bonnie by all means. "There is nothing to fear."

"Let me be the judge of that, Miss Bennett." Lucy turned her head towards Bonnie and winked at her.

"Of course, Miss Bennett." Bonnie answered with a smile.

* * *

Matt felt as if he was going to burn inside as if he were going to become mad with jealousy. It was as if he was no longer in control of anything. He needed to unwind and fortunately he still had his weight machine in the garage. He spent all afternoon doing weight training to forget what was going to happen tonight. Bonnie was going to have a date with Jeremy. He hated that fact with all of his soul. Matt was lying on the bed of the gym machine, lifting heavy weights. He did not have to, but he needed to spend 100% of his energy today. He was sweating big drops as he blew into the sporting effort. What he was seeing while lifting his weights was Bonnie and Jeremy having sex. He just could not stand it.

"87!" He counted the number of lifting with difficulty. "88!"

It was unbearable for him to imagine Jeremy touching his Cassiopeia. He knew what kind of thoughts a 17 year old teenager has in his head when he invites an innocent girl to watch a movie at home. He went through there. He knows that Jeremy has plans to sleep with Bonnie tonight. The simple idea of Bonnie with another man makes him go out of his mind.

"102". Then Matt lifted the load again and again, ignoring the burn in his biceps. "110!"

He could do nothing but be a spectator. He had no choice, he thought. He hated being so powerless. That's why he'd gone years ago because he knew he could not bear to see her with an another man. Even if this man could be better than him. He was too possessive. He knew that. He didn't want her to be in a love cage. He wanted her to bloom like a flower and slowly take her place in this world. He didn't want to force his love on her, but he couldn't continue to be near to her and ignore his demons. These same demons were haunting him now. He wanted her for himself. But he couldn't... He couldn't.

"120. 121. 123. 124." All that Matt wanted was for Bonnie to make her own choices." 125. 126. 127. AHHH." He screamed in anger. He wanted her to be near to him for God's sake. Why he didn't have this luck? Why he couldn't be with her? Why?

Matt knew why. He knew how she was glued to him when they were kids. He was 9 years old the first time he held Bonnie in his arms. She was so beautiful and so small. He wanted to protect her by any means. He wanted to be her source of joy and laughter. That's what happened. She grew up and he too. They were together. They were always together. He was there when her father left, and she was there when he was abused by the crap mates his mother brought home. They were together and promised never to be apart. It was a pure and innocent love. That became another thing when his teenage hormones began to disrupt him.

He knew what influence he had on her. He knew she would do anything for him with her childhood dreams. And that if he told her of his dark desires, nothing good would have come out of there. He would be seen to be a vulgar pedophile when it was the opposite of how he saw himself. He did not want to hurt her. He confesses that he had thoughts that were not often clean when he looked at her body which developed from an early age, but he was never going to touch her or use her innocence to abuse her.

"I would never do that." He grunted, "132. I COULDN'T DO THAT."

He did not want to use the need she had to keep him close to her. He did not want her to bend to adult feelings to soon. He did not want to force her into a world that was not her own. He loved her and loved her too much. In a certain way, in leaving, he not only protected her but also himself. He would lose so much because of his love for her. Because of what he felt.

Matt was not an example of virtue when he was a teenager. He was never going to dare to touch a Bonnie's hair when she was 11, but maybe at 14 or 15, the story would be different. He knew that by staying at Mystic Falls, all the reasons he'd managed to get out of this town, away from the love of his life, was going to collapse little by little. He did not want that. She was so beautiful, and her body was growing so fast. Even with all the good will and an iron rigor, he knew he was going to make a mistake one day. He would be in jail right now, and Bonnie would have been maybe traumatized. He could not forgive himself for that. Now she had a chance to be happy without him. He had to be proud of himself, but he felt like shit. Now Bonnie just reached her 17th year, and she was probably going to give away her virginity to the dumb Playboy of Mystic Falls' high school, who was probably going to hurt her and not love and cherish her virgin body as the treasure it was.

Matt realized she was a virgin. Jeremy surely will not think of giving her orgasms. Maybe even he could not know how to do it. He could not whisper words of love to her as Matt could do. He could not put her in confidence as Matt could. No one could desire her body more than himself and aspire to give her the time of a life to be ready.

Gosh! Matt could read in her eyes that she knew nothing about sex. She sweated innocence. She was visibly different from her friends. He was proud of her for that. Knowing his Cass, she had to tell herself to keep her virginity for someone special. Before she lost the memory, it was him, her special person.

Everything was so obvious. He was going to do it one day or another. He knew he was right to leave. He was too close to loose everything at this time. God knows how much Matt did not want to be like those perverts who fantasize about children. He could not explain it himself, but he did not see Bonnie as a child. She was so mature and her body... Like when she slept in his arms and her nipples that were already forming were brushing his chest. That was bad. What impure thoughts. Maybe he was a pervert. Maybe he still is.

"I'm not- I'm not- I AM NOT."

"Matt?"

He widened his eyes as he heard her voice.

"YES-JUST- A-MINUTE!" He grunted with all the effort he was putting to lift the heavy weight and lay it down. It took him a lot of time to do it. To the sound of her voice, he suddenly lost all the energy he felt before.

Bonnie was a little worried that he would not succeed and that he would end up strangling with the iron bar as in the movies. She released a breath of relief when he finally succeeded.

"Matt, this stuff looks heavier than you!" She was getting closer. "It was dangerous. Maybe you shouldn't use so much weight." She scolded him. "Matt?" She must confess that for a moment she was really afraid for him. Matt didn't move. He stared at the ceiling with his wrist resting on his forehead. He sighed deeply. He did not look to be in good mood. She thought of leaving, but she wanted to talk to him. He did not answer to her as if he wanted her to disappear. She had to know why. She decided to step back into the garage where he was lying on the bed of his complicated bodybuilding machine.

Soon, she was just standing next to him. She looked down and frowned. He still didn't move. She could see his magnificent blue eyes, but they didn't look at her.

"Matty?"

Matt's eyes resuscitated on hearing the familiar nickname of his childhood memories that keep haunting him. He blinked a few time as if he woke up from a dream and at that moment he saw her. Matt took the time to look at her. He felt more miserable than before.

"You're so beautiful." He said it with so much trouble in his eyes that Bonnie felt bad for him.

Matt climbed up to sit down, gathering his legs on one side to be properly seated facing her. At first he had his head lowered. He was looking at her shoes. A pair of white converse that were a little dirty. Then he slowly raised his head. He skimmed every inch of her little legs to look up on her exposed thighs, then on her high waisted denim skirt with buttons in front, her white blue top in bohemian style. He looked up at her beautiful face. She had light makeup that accentuated her cat green eyes. He soon realized that she had made herself so desirable for another man.

"You're beautiful..." He repeated in a tone full of bitterness.

"Thank you. But you, you look pretty bad?" She laughed a little embarrassed to tell him that. He smiled and stood up like a tortured soul. She looked up at him. She had not worn boots with heal like always, so she was smaller in front of him with her flat shoes. She suddenly felt lousy to be so small. She looked away a bit ashamed.

"I think what I said. You're beautiful... The shape of your body is perfect according to me." He said as if he had read her thoughts. Bonnie was looking at him again with a smile on her lips. He could not help smiling too.

"Es- tu malade?" (Are you sick?)

"Je suis malade d'amour." (Love is my sickness.)

"L'amour?" (Love) She asked with a pretty American accent.

"L'amour." He said with a correct French accent.

"Lamour..." She rolled the word on her tongue as if to taste it. His look was sweet, and his smirk was full of affection for her. Even with his bad mine, he was just gorgeous. Even in a hundred years, Jeremy couldn't be that beautiful. Matt's smile was the kind that give hope to people.

"Bravo, you pronounced it well." He said after looking deeply in her eyes.

"Thank you." She said, blushing. Matt was dying to plunge his tongue into her mouth and lift her up in his arms, to slip her panties down and make love to her until she scream his name. He wanted to dive inside her pussy and make her body feel incredible things. He wanted to give her all the pleasure of the world on a silver platter. He could be satisfied just by feeling her coming into his mouth. "Can I call you Matty?"

"What?" He came back to the reality.

"Can I call you Matty? I think it's cute. Matty blue- blue eyes"

"I think you've done it already. It's a good nickname. I kinda like it."

"Cool then, but I do not want to sound disrespectful. It's already strange that I'm calling you Matt when everyone calls you Mr. Donovan."

Matt giggled, "You can call me the way you want Bonnie, or you can call me Mr. Donovan and I will call you Madam Bennett. It's very frenchy to call all women, madam."

"Oh my God, don't call me madam. It will make me feel so old when I already have the feeling of being old."

"You are 17 years old. You have all your life in front of you. You're far from being old."

"You too..."

"Yes." He laughed, "I don't have 30 yet. Often I forget that I'm not old, but it is difficult to feel young. Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes my life sucks. I have responsibilities, these responsibilities make me see life differently. I should enjoy... But I don't."

"You look depressed, Matty."

"Pardon." (Sorry)

"What's wrong? Is it about Vicki or your mother?" She put a hand on his cheek. The skin of his face was still wet with sweat. She stroked his cheek tenderly. He breathed weakly thought his mouth. He was mesmerizing. He was more pale than usual. His white skin had always a good-looking tan that she admired. Today he was completely pale. His pink lips were a little chapped. At least his blue eyes were bright and luminous as always. She had not noticed that his eyes still shone when she was with him. "Matty?"

"No... She's okay. Thank you for worrying." Matt walked away from her and picked up the napkin that was carelessly put on the floor. Bonnie bit her lower lip and swallowed the saliva in her throat. "Do you not have somewhere to be? Uhm, your outfit... You wear them for something special, I suppose." He wiped his forehead with the napkin. She looked at him from the corner of her eyes and look at furtively at her Jeans skirt.

"You have noticed?"

"The one who doesn't is a fool."

Bonnie smiled, completely charmed, "Yeah I have somewhere to be. Uhm, I have a date tonight. I think I told you about that."

"Yes." He said still with bitter feelings.

"He's waiting for me."

"So, what do you do here?"

"Because I wanted to see you. I wanted to talk to you." She approached him. "I had this feeling inside me that you're not okay, so I passed by to check. I know It sounds weird." She said embarrassed, "I shouldn't pass like that?"

"Where is Jeremy?"

"He's talking with my auntie." She walked away from him, into the garage. It was bizarre how she felt like she had already come here when she hadn't. "She's asking him some personal questions. She's a bit protective. Luckily not as much as my mom. Lucy is cool. She surely already asked him if he had any condoms." Bonnie laughed at the joke before jumping to a thump. She turned around to see that Matt had punched the garage wall. She was surprised to see that there was a hole in the wall because of the punch. His back was turned to her, and she could see his chest go up and down quickly. "Matty?"

"Do not call me like that. Seriously..." He said in a low voice. Like a painful breath. "What are you doing here? Go and join your boyfriend."

"It's not my boyfriend!"

"Then why are you going to-" he turned to realize she was right behind him. She put both hands on his bare chest to push him back and prevent him from crashing into her. Bonnie's hands stayed long enough on his chest to feel the soft nipples underneath her palms. She quickly removed her hands from him, and he suffered from loss of her touch. He could sell his soul for her to touch him again.

"Going to do what?" She asked, but he couldn't continue his sentence. She was beginning to lose patience, "Is it because I am your pupil and you, my teacher? Or because you are afraid that people will know about... About... Are you just afraid?" She asked. She did not even really know what she was asking for. There was not even any logic to her questions. Still, she wanted to ask them. "Because of my age?" Matt shuddered. "It's my age, right? because I'm going to be 18 years old next year. I will be an adult and- and maybe-"

Matt knew they were headed for a dead end. He had to let her go as he did six years ago.

"I do not know what you're talking about, Bonnie. Listen, you should join your date."

"But..."

"We're not in movies. I am your teacher, and between you and me, there is nothing more than a cordial relationship. It can't be more than that. Not because of your age or my fear for what people would think. It's because it's forbidden. Don't ever think this kind of thing again. I want to continue tutoring you, but I see that I have to put line between you and me. That line can't not be crossed. There is nothing between you and me. There will never be anything between you and me. I know it's my fault. Because of the kiss... I am very sorry that my actions may have made you think that... I felt something for you, but it's not the case. I am your teacher and you're my pupil and I intend to keep things in this order. I love a woman named Cass. It was her I imagined when I committed the error of kissing you. This woman is not a teenager from the small town of Mystic Falls."

Bonnie looked hurt. He saw it on her face even if she tried to hide it. Matt was pitiless in his words. They cut like a knife. No matter how confused she was about the kiss three days ago. She couldn't be anymore. He was very clear. She had no right to see him as a potential love interest. She had no right to think of them being together. Everything was finished before anything even started. He felt like shit. He felt exactly like 6 years ago, but now she wasn't the same crying girl. Bonnie was strong. She clenched her fists on the sides in pain and fury.

"I understand, Mr. Donovan. I'm sorry to have crossed the line. It will not happen again." She walked away quickly from him to the garage exit. Before stopping abruptly without turning, "I just want you to know that... It was my first kiss." She was blowing him off before running into the alley away from the Donovan house to find Jeremy waiting for her on the porch of her house.

A tear ran down his left cheek as he tried to keep his breathing stable. He knew that he has inexorably push Bonnie into the arms of Jeremy. "I so sorry..."

* * *

Jeremy was probably different from Matt. Even if she tried, it was too hard not to make a comparison between the two of them. In a month, Matt looked more like the man of her dream than any man she ever met. If she wanted to give Jeremy a chance, a comparison with the perfection incarnated Matt had to be made. Even if the said perfect man completely ridiculed her today.

She was not going to let herself get down by it. If she had been mistaken about him and his feeling for her, then it was her fault. She would not make the same mistake again. She was going to find a good guy and get on with this sex thing like all the teenage girls of her age. She was going to get her diploma and go to study in Europe as she always wanted. Nothing had changed in her future plans, so she should not feel bad. She had to feel good because now she would no longer be confused. Everything was now clear. She refused to accept her feelings for her teacher at this time to completely dedicate herself to that date.

What she understood was that her aunt did not like Jeremy. Lucy asked him simple questions about his intentions towards Bonnie, and he did not know how to be serious one minute. He laughed and turned the questions into derision as a child would do. The result of this meeting was that Jeremy did not deserve her niece. It must be admitted that if Lucy had said it before Bonnie spoke to Donovan, Bonnie would surely have canceled the date. Now she was determined to lead this evening well. At least, there will be something she would control. Plus she could not stay alone tonight. She knew she was going to cry for the stifled feelings she had about a relationship that was killed before it started. So, a date was perfect. For the first time she did not listen to Lucy's advice, and she went to Jeremy's.

Bonnie noticed some little things he did that she disliked. Like the fact that he does not hold the door for her or the fact that he caresses her back without even asking permission to touch her. The fact that he offers her alcohol when they've not yet the legal age and especially the fact that he dares to suggest to her to smoke a rather doubtful cigarette that is supposed to be of the drug. She did not comment, and she tried to put things into perspective. In any case, young people today no longer hold the doors to girls. It is to wonder whether gallantry still existed. Plus, everyone is tactile with everyone. Especially a popular boy like him. She assumed he had to be like that with everyone. Concerning alcohol and drugs, this is not a surprising news. Everyone in Mystic Falls High School knew this corner of the building where people smoked shamelessly. She knew it, so there's one more thing she was going to let pass.

When he told her it was better to watch TV in his bedroom than at the living room, she agreed to follow him. She did not argue. Jeremy held her hand, leading her up the stairs, and she smiled shyly at him. They went into his bedroom where he closed the door behind her. She immediately felt trapped, but she ignored this feeling. They settled on Jeremy's comfortable bed. They put Netflix on to watch some original series about eight people connected together by mind. The series was interesting even though there were a lot of sex scenes where Bonnie felt uncomfortable.

There was this particularly hot scene of two lesbians having sex. Bonnie obviously saw that Jeremy was turned on. His hand on her thighs trembled a little while he caressed her. Bonnie tried to enjoy the TV show, yet she continued to feel uncomfortable. This feeling did not want to leave her as he bent down to kiss her as if they did it everyday.

"Jer? I need to know how you feel about me... It's important to feel something while doing... This."

"We do not need to feel anything to have hot sex with a hot girl." He said before he crushed his lips on hers and kissed her passionately. Bonnie had a hard time keeping up. "You're not getting it right. It looks like you've never kissed before." He laughed at her inexperience and without even waiting for her to say anything he kissed her again. This time more slowly. She wanted to thank him for that. She could now follow what he did before. "Your lips are superb." He practically jumped on her and asked to stand between her legs, but she did not open them.

"Jer. Wait, Wait."

"What? I like you. You like me. It's perfect. Why wait? If you're afraid just know I'll be gentle, I promise."

"I know but- I just don't want to do it like that."

"What do you mean?" He frowned.

"I need more... Time maybe. I need to feel... Loved. I know it's unripe, but I think sex without feelings makes no sense."

"You need to feel loved. Oh Bonnie, I'm going to love you all night if you want to." He talked while smiling. He began to kiss her jaw and into the hollow of her neck to give her hickeys there. Bonnie felt his hand sliding under her top, under her bra. Jeremy groaned loudly when he felt Bonnie's little nipple under his palm. Bonnie clutched the sheets in her fists. She closed her eyes and tried to soak up the feel of a man who touched her. "C'mon, Bonnie. Don't be so prudish. Touch me too. I know you want to." He grunted. She fumbled on his muscled arms, stroking them gently. That made him laugh once more. He raised his head to look at her, and she opened her eyes.

"No. Not there. Here." Jeremy took her right hand and guided it to the prohiminant bulge of his jeans. "Yes. Just like that. Oh. Crap! I waited for too long to feel you touch me like that."

"Uh, maybe we can wait a little longer. Just days. We can begin by being a couple. And have many other dates. You know, to get to know each other... it's just our first date."

"We've known each other since we were kids. You're the best friend of my older sister need I remind you. Technically it's not our first date, Bonnie. I was there when you came to see Elena. You know I always wanted to be with you. During your sleepover, I was there because I wanted to be with you, but you never noticed me. While other gils could beg to be in your place. You're so special, Bonnie. I waited for it for so long." He began to kiss her harder. She moaned in the kiss. She could not deny the obvious. He kissed well and he made her panties wet, but she felt as if she needed more than that. As if she deserved more than Jeremy Gilbert. She felt she couldn't stop now. She had gone too far to retreat now.

Jeremy started undressing her and he urged her to touch him more. Not to be afraid of his penis. She was trying to touch him the way he wanted. At the very moment her hand was wrapped around his penis, he lost all restraint. He continued to remove her clothes until she was completely naked underneath him. Jeremy still wore his jeans, but he was shirtless. She did not have the courage to remove his jeans so he just put her hands in his boxers for her to shake his dick. He had plunged two fingers inside her and did his best to stimulate her. Bonnie scratched his back in an unnamed discomfort.

"You love it, don't you? You want it, don't you?"

The little squeaks she made excited him even more. He thought she loved it, but Bonnie felt more discomfort than pleasure. She did not want to disappoint her bestfriend's little brother.

Matt had rejected her. She did not want Jeremy to reject her too.

Jeremy had a large carder full of muscle that hid her small body. He felt satisfied with her breasts. Even small, her breasts were sweet. He took pleasure in hearing her squeaks at his kiss and bites. Soon he lost patience. Bonnie was not wet much, but he felt it was enough to get into the real act. Anyway, the blood would lubricate the passage. He had already deflowered a girl, so he knew how things will happen.

Bonnie was tense in her position. Seeing Jeremy put a condom on his penis and position himself between her legs. He has not even completely undressed. He had just dropped his jeans and his boxers under his butt.

"I do not know if I'm ready," she confessed at last. "Jer, I'm not sure ..."

"Shh, let it be. I'll be going gentle for you. I love you, Bonnie. I promise you, I love you. And after that we'll be together. We'll be a couple and we'll be fine. I promise. Everything will be fine after that. Let me do this." He spoke softly, looking her in the eyes. Bonnie nodded, convinced of his words. It was almost too easy to convince her that he was laughing inwardly. "I promise you. I'll be gentle, you know I love you, Bonnie. I love you. C'mon." He pecked at her lips before taking her lips into a needy kiss.

Before she knew it she felt a horrible pain tearing her from inside.

"It hurts, it hurts! Stop! Stop!" She screamed in pain.

"Damn it." He continued to make her scream by sinking into her. She was so tight. He thought she was going to have fun very quickly as the girl he had deflowered once, but she continued to be hurt. It destabilized him. "Bonnie, calm down." She began to cry. Jeremy felt that she went dry as the desert. He had to lubricate a little more with his own saliva to be able to slip in correctly. And then he didn't need saliva anymore. There was enough blood.

It was not what she expected, everything but not that.

* * *

Matt Donovan was in a foul after Bonnie's departure. All evening he thought of Bonnie. He thought of his Cassiopeia. His woman's life. The woman for whom he would make all the sacrifices. Even the sacrifice of his happiness. All he wanted was for her to be happy. He wanted her to live by herself and not prevent her from flourishing. He was convinced that with him she would be unhappy.

There was so much that separated them. Not to mention the risk of going to prison and the loss of the right to be a teacher again. There were hundreds of risks and millions of issues.

They were better being apart, and she was better off without him. After a few glasses of red wine, this idea was less burdensome to accept. He turned off the lights of the house, got into his bedroom, and went to bed. His head was heavy on the pillow. He felt his mind float, and he laughed all by himself. The room circled around him and he closed his eyes to rest. The name of Bonnie was hard on his lip as he sank into a deep sleep.

When he awoke in the middle of the night, he thought he had hallucinations. It was dark but the light of the moon lit up the room slightly. Next to him was a person crying. A woman. He scratched his eyes, trying to gather his spirits. The alcohol was still in his metabolism, but he was not drunk as a few hours ago. Sleep helped with that. No matter how he rubbed his eyes, the shape of a person on the bed did not disappear. He decided to light the bedside lamp and turned back to the crying woman.

"BONNIE!" He jumped in terror. His Cassiopeia was curled up in a ball shape, showing him her back. Her body shook because of her sobs. "Bonnie?" He straddled her to stand on the other side of the bed to see her face. He was on alert. If he had been drunk, then he'd snapped off instantly. "Bonnie? Bonnie? Did somebody hurt you? Who dared to hurt you? Is it Jeremy? I swear I'll kill him. I swear I'm gonna kill him. Bonnie, I need to know if you're okay. Please, Bonnie, look at me, please."

Bonnie sat up slowly from the bed. She sat down on one side holding her weight on her arms. She slowly looked up at him with her eyes red and full of anger.

"Bonnie..." He swallowed hard, "Did Jeremy hurt you? I'm here for you. You can talk to me. Is it his friends? Himself? Who? Who made you fall in this state? I'm here for you. I'm not gonna leave. I'm here for you." Matt stroked her cheeks. For a moment her sobs softened. He thought she could not suffer any more. It was not true. The look she gave him. It was the one he expected to see the first day he saw her in his class. Full of bitterness, rancor, hate and anger. "You remember me..."

"Because of your choice, I had sex with Jeremy."

"Cassiopeia..."

"Because of your choice, it was the most horrible moment of life." Bonnie shook as she began to cry again. When he wanted to stroke her cheeks again, she slapped him in the face. Matt's tears also begin to fall. "Because of your choice ... Because of you- Because you were a coward unable to know that the real way to protect me was to stay by my side. Because you were too afraid to take risks. Because you were too afraid that I would be dependent on you just because you were an irresponsible boy in high school that couldn't handle to be loved by all cost. Because of you... I felt like I was worthless. As if whatever I do, whatever I say, all the men in my life are going to finish one day to leave me all by myself. Because of you... ALL THIS HAPPENED."

"I'm so-"

"I hate you. I hate you."

"Cassiopeia... I beg your pardon. I beg you Cassiopeia. I love you so much that I can die for you." Matt beseeched her with all he had.

"I begged you not to-" Bonnie felt her vision becoming blurred. "I begged you not to leave me, but you left. I cried. I screamed your name. But he started the car and- you went away from... Me. You- didn't- keep- your promise." Matt saw that something was wrong, "Today still you left me again and-"

She looked at him weakly when her vision became unclair. He was rocking her face with both hands looking intently into her green eyes.

"Cassiopeia, listen to me, listen to my voice. Stay with me. BONNIE!"

She couldn't handle that feeling. She couldn't handle all these memories. This betrayal of the only man she ever loved. Everything happened quickly. Soon she couldn't hear his voice and then her eyes rolled behind her head, and she lost consciousness. Matt shook the body of the woman he loved again and again for her to wake up before he lifted her in his arms to get her quickly to the hospital.

* * *

 **Please let me know what you think.**


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